66

66 days left. Just 3 days shy of 9 weeks. A little more than 2 months.
I guess it's safe to say that the count down has somewhat officially started.
66 days until I leave.

Sometimes, it seems a bit crazy to think that the day that I was waiting over a year and a bit for is now on my doorstep. It's making me come to terms with the fact that this is actually happening...as surreal as it may or may not seem; regardless of how many things still need to fall into place. Is it enough time? Well, I suppose that it will have to be.

Current events have made me realize...life will still go on without me while I am away. Not that I for one moment thought that it wouldn't. But, some times, when big things loom on the horizon, it's easy to overlook other things. Life will continue here in Calgary...things are going to be changing. When I leave, not only will I not return the same...the place that I left will not be the same. Dynamics will shift. Life rolls on...

It's still hard to believe that I will be gone for what looks like 9 months in total. It will be interesting to see what is going to transpire in my time away. It'll be interesting to see if all the pieces of the puzzle still fit when those 9 months have come and gone.

I feel like there is still a bit of a battle within me. As excited as I am to go...and as much as I wouldn't trade this experience for the world...as much as I am willing to sacrifice to see this through...I'm still scared, apprehensive, pensive, even. I want to go, but I'm scared to go. I desire the adventure and the unknown, yet I long to stay in the comforts of what is known. Am I alone in this?

I hear, in my head, voices of friends saying how much they'll miss me. Wondering who's going to fill my place, who are they going to do stuff with, go out with, have spontaneous lunches with. And, I have realized that this adventure isn't just affecting me, it's affecting others. It's amazing to stop and see the impact that you have on others in your life. I look back and wonder when and how it happened? I can only pray that this impact will occur yet again on my trip and my time aboard the ship...